First I will say that I am sorry I didn't write anything sooner. Since most of you know I came back on Nov. 17th (Very sadly...) - It being now December, and at the moment 2 days away from Natalie and I's monthiversary (Yeah, I said it.) ... I figured why not sit down and really get down to business and let the few people that do know about this and read it, my outlook and what I experienced? - If you're the weirdo type that is actually curious about what took me so long to write this, well. A mix of looking for a job so I can go back to NY again, working out and dealing with the depression I had/have because I had to leave NY, equals not really wanting to sit down and type out all this. But! Now is the time, so let's begin shall we?
The Flights There:So I didn't really sleep that night, mostly just stayed up and checked to made sure I had everything a dozen times over followed by just laying around with my cat. The time came to throw my things in the truck and take the ride to the airport. Which was actually really calming, was still dark out and no traffic. My dad drove me and we just turned up the stereo and enjoyed the ride. After arriving at the airport and getting my bags all checked in I was ready to pass security and my dad left at that point (Before security) and we had this.. Awkward handshake hug moment, but it was alright. He told me to be good, I told him to do the same and take care of my cat. Proceeding to security, it was actually a smooth ride. It was the 2 hour wait till the flight came in that really killed me. But, I called Natalie and said good morning, told her I loved her and was waiting in the airport and I would see her tonight... After that, time seem to go by actually pretty quick. I remember eating this really good donut thing and drinking some apple juice, then it was time to board plane number one, with a 45 minute flight to Calgary, which really seemed like a few hours. But I mean, I didn't mind, it was nice seeing the sun come up above the clouds and the view, god it was something beautiful. First time on a plane and I loved it. It was even nicer with the fact that I kept thinking about where I was going.
We landed in Calgary where I had another wait, I called my mom and let her know that I landed in Calgary and was waiting for the next flight to Newark, NJ. (Just outside of NY) - This wait was .. An hour? I can't remember and don't want to dig out the boarding pass right now. It was a long wait; or it sure as hell seemed liked it. Sure going through customs and what not took sometime, but that was actually pretty easy and quick, once again. After that I just kind of sat down and dozed in and out; anxious to get on that flight and be that much closer to getting to Natalie. After hearing the announcement for the flight, we all got on the plane and I sat by this really nice couple that thought it was so amazing that I was flying from BC to go see a girl I met online and that we were so in love to make this all happen. Even the "Male air attendant" seemed pretty impressed. But that guy was pretty chill, would sit and talk to us the whole flight (4 hour flight, thank god.) - So between him and the other "female air attendant" serving, I took quick little naps and I would just like to say... The orange juice on that flight was delicious and WestJet has some really nice people working for them. I was impressed with the service and just how bloody nice these people were. Anyway, moving on. We get the seatbelt sign, captain comes on and says "Ladies and Gentlemen, we are now preparing to make our approach to Newark Airport, New Y..Er.. New Jersey, but it's close enough to say it's New York since most of you are going there anyway. So, the current temp is <I forget what he said> and it's actually not too bad out with slight clouds, I hope you all enjoy your stay and be good" - Which made me laugh a bit, along with everyone else on the flight. When I landed, I was so just.. I can't even explain the thrill or how great I felt. Found my way to the train I needed with the help of some rather friendly people and begun my way to Penn. Station from the Airport to meet up with Natalie and her mom (and her boyfriend).
P.S. It was cold as hell outside Penn. Station! But it was really only cold because of the wind. I also had this odd random mouse come out from.. Somewhere and sit on my shoe and than ran inbetween my shoes... It was cute. I think it was trying to get out of the wind, lol. Also; great flights both ways. Props to WestJet and their service.
First Impressions:You know how they say first impressions are everything? Natalie's on me was her telling me to walk down a block; so I do. We're still on the phone together and than she says some words before a moment I'll never forget. "I really nervous" ... Which I reply to with "Nervous about wha-" ..At this point I get her jumping half on my back and wrapping her arms around me. (Please note: I didn't quite expect this after what she said; blame how I was raised but first reaction was to hit the person... I resisted and good thing too huh?) - I turned around and she just buried her face into my chest and I held her for the first time. It's moments like this that almost make you believe in God; because nothing in the world could feel more right or heavenly then moments like that. I wish it lasted longer, but... Her moms boyfriend was right there and we started to make the way back to the car with Natalie hanging onto me and my arm around her. Kept pecking my cheek. It also made me want to kiss her that much more but after just meeting her, her moms boyfriend and once in the car, her mom. I tried to be good and we did have one quick kiss. Also; the first impression things? One of the first things I said to her moms boyfriend was something about him being a ginger; awesome right? I know. Moving along, turns out some people were hungry so! They decided on Apple Bees, which brought forth a moment that will be forever in my mind. The first, real kiss. Of course was disturupted; but that moment... I think I almost started to really believe in God at that moment, not even dreams were as sweet as that. We eventually got back to the apartment, talked a bit and went to sleep for an early morning, that whole school thing, you know. - Some other things happened after that, not the kinky sexual kind but just somethings that don't have to be added into a blog. This is about my trip and my relationship. Strictly.. For now.
The Time Being:So, as most of you know I spent nearly three weeks there. (2 weeks and 5 days) - Living with Natalie, her mom and most of the time her moms boyfriend was around. But, we also had some bonus visitors; guest starring.. Her grandmother, her aunt, her uncle and last but not least, her brother! This of course cut back on things and time alone that we could have had but we made the best of it and still managed to get a bit of alone time. Her aunt and uncle left pretty quick, her brother wasn't even there too long really. Nana stayed a bit longer then any of us expected (Even her moms boyfriend. I guess we do have something in common, Ginger...). Anyway, they all thought I apparently was "Calm and timid" ... It's okay, I laughed too. But overall I think things went pretty well and I tried to be somewhat respectful; although conversations were a drag (Except with her brother and uncle) - Her aunt and grandmother only spoke spanish really. Made things a little hard when trying to communicate since I don't speak spanish; but maybe that was a good thing at the time?
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The Halloween Parade: Some crazy shit I tell you! So many people and costumes and.. The floats, never forget... The Naked Chef. Wearing only a cooking apron, your ass will haunt my dreams and bring me many laughs. But it was a good time. Anytime spent with my baby was great; it was a new experience for me to see something like that and so many people and I was just glad I got to do it with Natalie.)
Anyway, getting back to the relationship end of it. During the week I was getting up a little before 7:30 AM so that I could get Natalie up and ready for school since I was walking her everyday and also picking her up from school. (Note: Fuck the white cop that was "Gotta move bro, NYPD bro, ya gotta move" - I am not your bro, pig. Things I was tempted to do...) - Some of those mornings Natalie either got up before I did to go get her up or was just up before 7:30 and would come out and crawl beside me. I wouldn't even open my eyes, just wrap my arm(s) around her and embrace every second of those moments. It felt so perfect, everything. Laying there with her, holding her, kissing her and saying "Good morning" - Perfect. Those were stand alone some of the best times... God I miss that.
Every moment we could spend together, we did. I never knew how much I loved her or how deeply I felt until those moments. From walking at night, chasing her down the road, her trying to beat me up even! (Haha, yeah, I had to mention that.) It was all so perfect and felt so right. Her touch, the way she pressed her lips to mine. ...I'm sitting here sighing thinking about it, I need to go back already. I mean, I knew I loved her. I knew how much I cared; but honestly... Having it right there, every emotion not having to be said, just acting on it with her feeling the same, what more could I have asked for? That was my life right there, my everything in my arms telling me that she loved me. - There is a lot of things in this life that people will do to feel great, to feel power. Nothing could ever get me higher, give me more feeling of just.. I don't even know the word. But there isn't
anything that could make me feel greater.
Natalie, I love you. So truly, deeply and passionately. I cannot wait until I am right back with you, holding you again.To make this a long story short... From meeting the family I did, getting to know her mom, her moms boyfriend. I felt at home, completely. More so than I do in my own home here; if that says much. (If you really know me, then you will understand this part) - I loved the city and the people in it. Even the really crazy ones that were talking about stabbing a guy in the neck, saying they were going to shoot me and asking me for drugs. I loved that place; it was amazing and a very nice change compared to Kelowna. Something that I could get very use too...
After just over a year (At the time) of being together with Natalie when I landed there, I knew I loved her. I have never doubted that since we first got together and I told her "I love you too" after she said that she loved me. Everything in me from that day forward things just felt right. I know how poets feel from the past when they wrote about true love, because I have found it. Every second with her, every touch, kiss, right down to every word we spoke, it was perfect... My everything. Truly... (
Just like I told you Natalie, looking right into your eyes before I said I love you and tried hard to not tear up.)
Departure, for now:Leaving.. That day. I have never felt something so hard, so painful in my life. Through everything this world has thrown at me; nothing compares to that day and holding her in my arms before she had to go to school, having the one person I truly love crying in my arms and me, just trying to hold back tearing up because it would make things worse though inside wanting to just not let go, to cry right with her and .. All I could do is tell her the truth. "I love you, it's going to be okay. I won't be gone long, I promise baby, no way I can stay away from you." - It's still the truth and I am planning on keeping my promises Natalie because honestly, I really can't stay away from you. You are my world, I need to be closer to you and my heart that you carry inside you. ..Having to walk away killed me, I won't lie about that. I barely made it down the road before I started crying; which says a lot because crying, never the less to cry in public, for me that's something. But I think that moment, it's one thing I can proudly say I did cry about. I cried my ass off and I won't deny that. Having to leave the person you love, even for a short amount of time hurts. I can now vouche on that personally. But, I can also vouche that it makes you go back quicker and more determined. Believe you, me, I have never been more determined...
-- Well, there you have it:That is generally my impression of the trip, how I felt, how I feel and how I am always going to feel. (At least love wise... Things are only going to get better from here. Together with the girl I love and cherish) But.. I suppose you people would like to see some pictures, wouldn't you? Well, here you go. Just click the links since some of them are pretty big. Thanks for reading and the support that the true friends gave me before I ever even thought about this trip. Thanks to the true friends that supported this relationship, before the trip, during it and continue to wish us the best. ...To the others that ..Well, actually, what does it matter? I think I already told them what to do and blocked them. Thank you, everyone.
(Click a number, each one is a picture!)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9True LoveMr. LibertySmile?DorksWannabe asian gangsta?Kiss kissCrizy!Thanks lady who took picture!
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cold
nauseated
nervous
sleepy
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